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Coming out of the (adoption) closet - A Guest Post

Usually, plans to bring children into your family don't need to be broadcast all over town, but when you're hoping to adopt, the rules are a little different. :)

Que and I are very private people, so when we learned that telling everyone everything about our lives would help our chances of adopting, it was frightening!

Infertility can make you feel like you have lost control of your own life. It is a very frustrating, humiliating and isolating issue (especially in the LDS/Utah culture where one's feelings of worthiness is often intertwined with parenthood).
Infertility involves constant feelings of grief, loss, mourning, inadequacy, feeling left behind and being ignored. Talking to not only our family and friends, but our neighbors and ward members about our situation was a daunting task.

Unfortunately when you're going through infertility trials and the process of trying to adopt, people will say things that are, although well-intentioned, still very hurtful. Some people will give unsolicited and patronizing advice. Some will ask rude, embarrassing and prying questions. Some will gossip and speculate about your medical issues.

And as the subject of gossip (and the object of rude questions), this sometimes makes it difficult to want to share what is going on with everyone.

Whether you yourself are experiencing infertility/adoption, have family or friends who are (or even if you are just curious) I recommend reading this educational and insightful web page called Infertility Etiquette and also this short Ensign article. :)

Telling everyone about our very private sorrow was a difficult thing to do, but we understand that the more people who know about our situation increase our chances to have a family.

If you would like us to mail you some of our Pass Along Cards, please email us at . If you are also hoping to adopt and would like Pass Along Cards of your own, check out this site.

Brittany was born and raised in Utah. She graduated from West Jordan High School and Salt Lake Community College. In 2001 she married her sweetheart, Que, in the Salt Lake Temple. They currently live in the Salt Lake valley with their golden retriever, Madison, and their cat, Parley P. Cat. When she's not working, she enjoys reading about Joseph Smith and the temple, remodeling homes with Que (she designs, he builds), playing the piano, and reading books by her favorite authors, Jane Austen and Edith Wharton. She is the author of the book Prepare Now for the Temple and is currently hoping to adopt. Her writing blog is and her adoption blog is

Enjoy shopping for quality baby clothing at

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