The other day I looked over the list of speakers for the upcoming Casual Blogger Conference. I read through each bio and was amazed at these wildly successful and talented women who have carved their own niche in this world. From owning and operating their own businesses to successful careers in journalism and writing all while raising beautiful children, magnifying various church callings, and still finding time to pursue their hobbies.
I used to long to be one of those women. The one who can do it all and be it all and have it all. You and I both know those women exist. We’ve met them. We compare ourselves, see how far from the mark we are, and then feel discouraged by our inadequacies. We bust out another bowl of ice cream and hate ourselves for that, too.
Truth is, I haven’t gotten very far in this life. By now, I had planned on having a successful career, at least two novels published, a handful of children, and a reputation for doing miraculous things in the kitchen. I’ve accomplished none of the above, although I have completed one novel –and I can make avocado eggrolls that are a little bit of heaven on earth. I’ll give myself that much.
After reading those bios, I got to thinking about that person I wanted to be (okay, I STILL want to be) and I realized that I wanted to do and be those things for the wrong reason. I wanted those things so that other people, other women specifically, would look at me and think to themselves, “Wow. She’s amazing.”
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with wanting to be admired and respected. We all hope for that. We all want to be loved. It’s normal. But, something I’ve learned recently is that loving myself, and being confident in Heavenly Father’s love for me is enough. My motivation to become great shouldn’t be for the praise of others, but to share His love with the people around me.
It also got me thinking about this post from Angie in Pink. I’m with her. I’m here. I’m participating. I don’t need to be the best at anything. I can be happy and love myself for who I am right in this very moment. I don’t think it was in the plan for me to be prominent in anything. I think I am meant to be more like the guy on the beach, tossing starfish back into the ocean one at a time. And I’m good with that.
Heather likes to think of herself as A Goddess in Progress, which is where she normally spills out the personal triumphs, failures, discoveries, and random details of her life.