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Here's a picture for you... I'm sitting in a booth at Zane's, (It's a great little place in downtown Glendale. The egg rolls are to die for!) looking over the menu, already knowing what I want, but pretending to act like I don't so Dave can feel better about taking so long to make up his own mind. I swear, every place we go it's the same. He doesn't want to pick something he may not like, so he takes forever deciding. It's a decision just as big as deciding who to vote for in an election year. He's so funny. I love Dave.

Anyway, back to the story. I'm sitting there, the front door opens and in walks a group of people.

I freeze. I see his face.

Oh my goodness! He has a beard! He looks like his dad but still has all the hair on his head. He's smiling and laughing. I can't stop staring. His group is seated at a table next to ours. I hear Dave say something and immediately I turn my eyes back to the menu.

Finally Dave and I have this whispered conversation,

"I know that guy."

"He does look familiar. Where do I know him?"

"You don't know him."

"Are you sure?"

"He was my first boyfriend."


"Oh wow."


"I just can't believe it. I haven't seen him since I was 18 years old!"

For the remainder of the dinner, I keep going back and forth in my mind, trying to decide if it is really him or not. Then, as Dave's taking care of our check, I hear the woman next to the man in question say his name. I gasp. It is him! I get up quickly and walk straight to the front door to leave. Dave asks why I didn't just go and say "hi". I really did want to, but what would I have said after that?

Driving home, my mind kept bringing memories of the summer of 96' to the surface. I went to my first country rock concert with him, the tickets his early birthday present for me. He was the first boy to hold my hand, to tell me he loved me, to kiss me goodnight. (He even asked me permission. Cheesy and sweet at the same time.) He was the first boy who made me feel beautiful even though I had braces, crazy hair, and a bean pole figure. Then he broke up with me. I tried to convince him to change his mind. It didn't work.

He was the first of a long line of heart breakers in my life. And yet, looking back, his was the sweetest. He said I was too good for him. And soon after, I realized something about myself. I was good. I may not have known it then, but others did.

More importantly, Heavenly Father did.

Actually, what's funny, is looking back, with each guy I seriously dated, I always saw myself spending forever with them. Now, thinking about it, I am so grateful for a much wiser Heavenly Father who knew something more was waiting for me. I'm not saying there is only one person out there for each of us, but I am saying the power of choice is a beautiful and eternal thing. I was blessed with many opportunities to find the right person for me, and even more blessed that until Dave, each opportunity ended. If they hadn't, I wouldn't have met Dave. And those others wouldn't have met their future sweethearts either. In the end, we all won.

It's funny how some people come into your life and just as quickly, they leave. And yet, they don't go without giving you something in return; a lesson learned, a talent achieved, a memory of sweetness. And that is what this particular boy was and will always be for me - a memory of sweetness.

Now, I want to clarify that just because a person reminisces, doesn't mean they regret. I love my family. I love Dave. I love my kiddies. And they know it. But we all have a past. It is what it is. With honesty and realism, I embrace my present with the knowledge I've gained from my past so I can step into tomorrow ready to make bigger and brighter memories.

So, if by chance, a certain someone happens to read this... you know who you are. (At least I hope you do.) I just want you to know I am so grateful for you. Thank you for teaching me to aim high and to never lower my standards. Thank you for helping me see the greatness in myself. And finally, thank you for being my friend, even if for a short while. I will never forget you.

By the the beard!

Katy is a musically inclined mother of three who loves life, her husband Dave, and cheesecake. Ahhhh....blessed cheesecake. Her fun filled roller coaster of thoughts can be found at Admission is always free.

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