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Confessions of An Addict

When I was in college I seriously dated a boy who, I discovered, had a serious problem.

We'd been together for awhile when he finally felt like he should come clean with me. He was addicted to pornography. In fact, he'd been sent home early from his mission for it, and was in the church's 12 step program. Then he dropped the big bomb: He wasn't sure that he wanted to continue the program, because he wasn't sure he wanted to give up his beloved porn. When I gave him the ultimatum, either me or the smut, he wanted both. So, I showed him the door.

My husband saw his first R-rated movie at the age of seven. He was watching it with his parents. When he looked away from the screen, embarrassed by what he was seeing, his dad told him that he was going to be seeing a lot of that in his life and he might as well get used to it. This young-age-exposure, coupled with easy access to more porn and a life lived well outside the standards of the church, bred itself into a full-blown addiction by adulthood.

When my husband converted, he quit his addiction cold turkey. He is still very careful about what movies he will watch, avoiding all R-rated movies and even some PG-13, because he is well aware of what his triggers are.

I had an addiction of another kind. In my quest for what I thought was "real love" I became addicted to Harlequin Romance Novels. It was my own secret little porn addiction. It took me a long time to realize that what was portrayed in these books wasn't real, eternal love, or even healthy love for that matter. So, like my husband, I quit cold turkey. I still am tempted from time to time to pick up one of those pieces of filth; I avoid the romance section at the library, and I have to be very careful about what I'll allow myself to read.

Pornography is out there.

It is not some myth that's been invented to keep us on the straight and narrow.

It is a real disease and addiction. It has real physical, mental, and emotional triggers.

And it is readily available to anyone, without even having to look very hard for it.

*image via Google

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