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The Stages of Cat Ownership

1. Love and Excitement -- Oh, such a sweet cute kitty! I’m so glad we got one for Christmas. Our kids love it! It will help teach them responsibility and how to be kind to animals. And she’s so soft and cute! Look at her purr, she’s so happy. She loves us. What a good kitty.

2. Doubt -- Well, she seems to be getting along with the kids okay, but I do wish she wouldn’t meow so loudly at night. How long do you think it’ll take her to learn that she sleeps in the garage? We might need to have a few lessons for the kids on how to treat the cat. Kids! We need to be nice to the cat. No dancing with her front paws. Don’t pick her up like that. Gosh, I didn’t know three immediate family members were allergic to cats. Maybe we should make her a total outside cat.

3. Hatred -- No! The cat cannot sleep on our bed, even if if makes her stop meowing all night. What? My cat climbed up and ruined your screen? I am so sorry. My cat has been in your house? I’m sorry. Yes, the orange cat that climbed into your plumber’s truck and scared him is my cat. I’m sorry. Umm, Hi Catherine, this is Stephanie, my cat is trapped in your garage, when do you think you’ll be home? Yeah, I’m sorry.

4. More hatred -- What is that awful smell?! It’s a good thing we got her while I’m pregnant, that way I don’t have to clean her litterbox. Hey! If you kids don’t leave the cat alone she’s going to run away! Yeah, that’s a pretty bad scratch. Did you sit on the cat? Well, you deserved it. Fine, cat. Sleep in the house, but stop your incessant meowing! Stop jumping on the counter! Your food is downstairs! You can’t go outside, you keep getting into trouble! Stop meowing! Do they make cat muzzles? Do your parents want a cat?

5. Tolerance -- Okay cat, I must admit you are kind of soft and cuddly. And you have stopped meowing all night, now that you sleep in the house. Could you just sleep all night instead of all day? Alright, alright. I’m happy to see you, too. Oh yeah, you like your head rubbed. You haven’t scratched the two-year-old’s eyes out, even when she threw you off the landing. Good kitty.


Stephanie enjoys eating chocolate and loves the cat when it is not meowing. When her kids grow up she plans to take over the world. In the meantime, she blogs at

*photo from Piez on flickr

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