Infertility can often feel like a never ending ferris wheel ride. You go around and around, the ferris wheel slows. You think it is your turn to get off, but suddenly it picks up speed and your hope of returning to solid ground is shattered.
This is a common feeling. There are amazing miracles that occur, there are the ones who are lucky enough to get off. But what if you are not one of them? Here are some ideas on how to ease the pain and make the ride, at least, bearable.
"We cannot know what faith is if we have never had it, and we cannot obtain it as long as we deny it. Faith and doubt cannot exist in the same mind at the same time, for one will dispel the other."
-- President Monson
Remember that fear is the nemesis of faith. Fear drives away the comfort that accompanies faith. Faith can move mountains. Not just the mountains that are our trials, but the mountains in us. The Lord will heal the pain. If He hasn't yet, trust that he will.
Don't forget about you! Infertility can overpower our lives. It can take away the things that give us joy. It can ruin a completely beautiful day. Try to not let it. Remember your needs and wants. If you want a vacation to the Bahamas, do it! Try not get lost in the, "I will do this when we finally have a baby." Do it now! Do it for you. Do it for your marriage. Do it for your future family. Do it because you deserve it.
Rid yourself of the guilt
If you want to take time off from trying, that is okay. The Lord did command us to multiply and replenish the earth. He also wanted you to have joy. If that means taking the summer off to go camping with your husband and not worrying about all the girlie doctor appointments, don't feel bad about it. Remember, that someone wise once said, "Life is a journey, not a destination."
Don't forget your husband
Remember that your husband is going through infertility with you, sometimes he is the one with the medical issue. Be sensitive. Often men aren't as open with their feelings so we assume that they are fine. Try to not make this assumption. Ask him and listen to him, just as you want him to listen to you. Try and be romantic with him for your relationship and not because you are "trying." This will help him feel needed as a husband and not just as a donor for a cause.
Always remember that the ferris wheel may just keep going for some of us. You are not alone, you have friends that fill up the entire ferris wheel. Make sure to lean on each other for support. Then the ride will be more enjoyable because everything is better with a friend, right?
Kelly is a stay at home wife, married to her husband, Will, for 6 years. She has struggled with infertility for 5 years and Kelly and Will are trying to adopt their first child. She spends much of her time online, blogging about infertility, adoption, and serving others at 'Giving What I Am,' her online journal, and also doing graphic design to raise money for her adoption at Modern Blitz Designs.