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Real Control! Help for Parents

Jeffrey R. Holland said, “…the only real control in life is self control.” 

I couldn’t agree more. You can control the settings on your computer, and control the television choices that come into your home. You can control all the things on your Family Standard (this is a document our family made to spell out what our family will and will not do) and you can control what your family eats for dinner, but you can’t control another person. No matter how hard you try and how much power you try to look like you have, the only person you can control is yourself.

Since that is the case, we should capitalize on that power we have to control ourselves, or govern ourselves. If we can control ourselves then we have no need to try to control another person, because our self control will come across as a feeling of confidence and power. When a person has the confidence which comes from self government that person is respected and looked up to. Then control isn’t really necessary.

So, if we want to inspire our children or friends to have more self control then we need to be the example. The more self control we have the more our children will want to respect us and want to be around us.

Every time I am with a group of young people I am one of the most strict, or principled, adults the youth have met. Most adults would think this is not a good impression to a group of young people, but I have found the result on the young people to be just he opposite. Young people respect me and flock to me. They see I am a fun person, but also a very controlled, principled person as well. They often times respect me more than they respect other adults who are just there for a laugh, going along for the ride, because they feel that I stand for something and that I really believe in doing something about what I stand for.

Self control, and personal statement makes an honest person. The youth know what they will get with me and they know what the expectations are. And, my expectations are high. They like that too. People like to be around honest people. They feel safe and inspired.

The only real control and real power we have is self control. When Benjamin Franklin was a young man he noticed thirteen things he didn’t like about himself and made a list of them. Then he took his list and one by one conquered each of the flaws on the list. He practiced self control. Since he practiced self control he was powerful. He was able to have influence in many nations. There was no man in the Americas more respected the Benjamin Franklin, save maybe George Washington, who was another amazing example of self government.

Take control of your home and your happiness by choosing to control yourself. No more excuses. We all need to recognize that we are the key to our own happiness and our family’s desire for self control.
About Family Standards: Our family loves the pamphlet For the Strength of Youth, but recognized that it was only a guideline. We wanted to have a family document, which was personal to us so that when our children reached the years when they might want to explore dangerous things they would know that our family had already covenanted with each other not to do those things. Then they have more than a guideline. This family standard gives our family confidence and support to live different in these socially confusing times. Here is a copy of our family standard .

Nicholeen Peck is a popular public speaker around North America who most often addresses the subject of parenting. Her parenting methods calm tantrum toddlers to tough teens while creating a family structure which invites the spirit of love and good communication. She is the Author of Parenting A House United and a BBC television star.  For more free parenting advice or to learn more about how Nicholeen governs herself so that she can teach her children self-government visit Nicholeens website: Teaching Self Government


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