Sometimes I'm amazed when I get the simple desires of my heart.
Today, my son and I walked our dog at a regional park a few miles from our house. As I drove along the oak trees looking for a spot to park, I saw two women walking, one of them held two peacock feathers in her hand. The thought crossed my mind, I want a peacock feather too. Ever since I was a little girl I have been fascinated by those long colorful feathers.
We parked and tumbled out of the car with our dog in tow. Actually no towing is involved with "family dog," as she loves to chase the squirrels in the park, even the lizards. We walk and talk about my son’s book he is reading, our plans for the day, that sort of thing.
On the way back we pass a peacock. I am thinking it is getting hot, and I wished we had started our walk earlier, so head back to the car ahead of my son.
When he catches up, he hands me a peacock feather.
"Where did you get that?"
"It was on the ground."
Then I remember my passing thought and desire. I am amazed that I am much like the sparrow, and that the hand of God is in my life for so simple a desire.
Are not two sparrows sold for a farthing? and one of them shall not fall on the ground without your Father. But the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear ye not therefore, ye are of more value than many sparrows. (Matt 10:29-31)
I am reminded of a time a few years back when I was heavily burdened with someone who needed help. No matter how much I prayed for a specific request, it seemed we hit dead ends all the time. It was a righteous desire, but all my prayers could not change the agency of the few in charge of that decision. I was discouraged, I felt trapped.
I drove to the beach, and walked along the tide pools--a location I have frequented often for pictures and nature and ocean air. There are a lot of mussel shells on this beach, and sometimes a not-so pearly trochus. I love to pick up a few shells and take them home with me.
On this particular day I found a medium sized abalone shell. I have never seen abalone on this beach, and never have since. It was as if God had told me he understands, that he knows my desires, that my fasts are accepted even though the outcome did not happen as I had envisioned.
He was aware of me.
On another occasion, a year of fasting gone by, I had gone up to my room, explaining to my husband that it would be much easier for me to exercise my faith if I could lay hold of something tangible. When Jesus anointed the eyes of the blind man, he used mud and spittle, not for Jesus, but for the blind man to have faith.
When Joseph Smith told Wilford Woodruff to go over the river and bless the sick children, he gave him his handkerchief, as a token that acted as something tangible between the two men. Wilford did go across the river and healed the sick with the aid of that token.
I thought to myself, how wonderful it would be to have something like that handkerchief, something that belonged to someone of faith. I rationalized that it would be easier for me to exercise my faith with some tangible element.
Probably 20 minutes passed and I received a call from a dear friend of many years, and many trials herself--she told me she had something for me. Twenty or so years ago someone had left a table with her, a table that was supposedly Hyrum Smith's table. She was not sure if it was, but the man never came back for it and now that she was moving, she wanted to know if I would like it. That and a shelf full of wonderful old church books. The desires of my heart were answered so quickly, so amazingly too.
It seems so simple, yet so unbelievable to a grown up, so believable to a child.
We become so knowledgeable, educated, and dependent on scientific research when we “grow up” that we lose our simple ability to believe in the unseen hand of God. It’s not Santa Clause, it's the unseen world that we left when we were born as helpless infants into the space we call earth.
A testing ground of faith.
Deila is the mom of five kids who looks for the deeper meaning of life’s joys and struggles on planet earth. You can find her in: Eve out of the Garden, at http://deilataylor.blogspot.com