I adore my children. I even adore most of the time I get to spend with them (which is approximately 13 waking hours a day, not to mention countless moments in the wee small hours of the night.) I wouldn't trade my job for a seven-figure salary, honestly, I wouldn't.
But on days that start too early, are insane all day and then finally fall apart completely by 7:00 pm, I am so grateful to tuck them into their beds, with our nightly rituals safely in place, close the door and walk away.
You see, generally they go right to sleep. They are nice that way. Then a few hours later, when I can't keep my own eyes open anymore, I get to sneak in. I cover them with blankets, smooth their hair, kiss their foreheads, and thank my Heavenly Father for another day that I had with them. I always pause to breathe and remember; they will be towering over me within years. I have such a short while that they are MINE.
Some days are way harder than I ever bargained for, but I am absolutely determined to live this quote:
"If you are still in the process of raising children, be aware that the tiny fingerprints that show up on almost every newly cleaned surface, the toys scattered about the house, the piles and piles of laundry to be tackled will disappear all too soon and that you will—to your surprise—miss them profoundly." (Thomas S. Monson, Finding Joy in the Journey, November 2008)
I do not want to look back on this time in my life with regret. I don't want to ever say, "If only..." I know some of that is inevitable, but I am trying my darndest to make sure I enjoy every moment that I can. Of course there is stress and frustration, and yes even anger at those tiny men of mine. But each day, I get to try again. And thank goodness, my sweet boys are very forgiving.
So when I sneak in to kiss them just *one more time* I am so thankful, regardless of what happened that day, that tomorrow, I get to spend it with them.
|Morgan is kept busy being the only female is a house of boys (even the dog is a boy!) She blogs about it all at The Ing Family and The Diet Coke Diet.|