When I was in high school and the first part of college I worked at a magical place called Bed, Bath, and Beyond. While there I learned about a lot of things (what to look for in the perfect towel, how to choose the perfect pots and pans, what to put on the ideal bridal registry, etc). One of the main things I picked up, though, was snobbery.
Yes, I am a sheet snob.
Let me share with you a few of my qualifiers:
1. The most important is thread count. As a kid we always just had jersey cotton sheets. Yuck! My skin deserves better than that. Brand doesn't matter to me. I don't care where I buy my sheets (most come from Ross or TJMaxx). But they absolutely MUST be at least 350 thread count... bare minimum. Generally, I prefer 400 thread count or more.
2. The second thing I look at is color. I know many people will only use white sheets on their beds. That doesn't work for me. My husband is a mechanic. If I only used white sheets I'd never want to let my husband into the bed. So, I stick with colors. I never go for anything too bold, mostly calming blues and greens. I'm not opposed to patterns, but I do prefer solids.
3. The third big qualifier is texture. Now, some of this comes with the thread count, but there are different textures available. I prefer sheets with a sateen texture. This is different than satin. Sateen has a nice sheen, a slightly silky texture, but still retains the softness of the cotton.
So, those are my big three.
That's not where the snobbery ends, though. I am also incredibly particular about how the bed gets made. So, a few tips for the perfect sheet fit:
1. Sheet suspenders: Yes, these are a real thing. They clip onto the fitted sheet and keep all of the edges pulled under the mattress. I am not a still sleeper, so anything that will keep that fitted sheet on the mattress is a great thing.
2. Matching textures: Flat sheets are actually designed to go on the bed upside-down from the way you think they would. If you look at your flat sheet the top hem will generally have one side more decorative than the other. The decorative side actually goes down (one of the other tricks I picked up working at BBB). This seam is generally softer against the skin than the other, plus when a bed is made in a traditional manner this is the seam that ends up showing.
3. The final tip is hospital corners: I learned to do hospital corners at a very young age. I perfected the art when I got my CNA, and later, my nursing license. I have made A LOT of beds in my day. Trust me when I tell you that learning to do hospital corners will make all the difference in your world. Your flat sheet will almost always stay tucked in at the bottom, and it just looks polished.
So, if you ever need to learn how to pick out fine china, which kitchen gadgets you'll never use, or how to find your perfect pillow I can probably help you out. But if you ever want me to make over your bed you'll have yourself a new best friend!
Annicka, also known as Pippi Longstocking, is a nurse by night and a wife by day. She and her husband, Curious George, are currently expecting their first baby (no name yet, they just call him Sharky) in January.
*Photo of my actual bed.