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Cleanliness Is... A Husbands Favorite Gripe

Recently my husband and I have been having a go around about keeping the house clean. Now, I'm sure your husbands have never once critiqued your cleaning skills, but mine seems to be trying to make it an art form.

The thing is, I really, really try.... between books, and the occasional NetFlix movie.... okay, there is also all of that 'me time' I insist on as well. So maybe he has a point. Maybe I need to knuckle down a little and work on having a cleaner abode.

At least that's what I beat myself with for a month or so until I realized that my house isn't that bad! I started comparing it to the houses of those other people I know and I realized that I'm doing pretty-darn-well-for-myself-thank-you-very-much.

Sure, I have dirty laundry scattered around the living room, but so do all my friends. It's inevitable with all these half naked kids wandering around (what is with the stripping children anyway). Sure my toilet is less than pristine, but really, I have two boys. Sure theirs toys strewn from one end of the house to the other, but I'm hardly willing to take the blame for that.

So what defines a clean house!? Clearly my husbands definition is a bit more strict than my own but, until a while ago, I was also under the impression that mine was just fine.

1. a : free from dirt or pollution (changed to clean clothes) (clean solar energy)
    b : free from contamination or disease (a clean wound)
    c : free or relatively free from radioactivity (a clean atomic explosion)

Yes, yes. See! I most definitely do not have pollution, disease or radiation in my home. So I'm good to go right? I mean, really, what more could you ask for in life? I'm very pro-contamination-free-living, aren't you?

Clean: free from dirt or impurities; or having clean habits; "children with clean shining faces"; "clean white shirts"; "clean dishes"; "a spotlessly clean house"

Dang it! I knew he had to be reading a different dictionary. His must be the Mars Edition, the one where next to "clean" is a picture of a lovely wife in an apron, a smile and a mop.

So today I did the smuggest thing I could come up with. I convinced him he had no clothes or underwear. I lay in the bed pretending to be half asleep and mumbled something about not having the time or energy to do the laundry. I watched him go dejectedly down the stairs (wondering if I ought to be offended at how easily I convinced him) and waited. Of course I knew that all the laundry was done... and I got immense satisfaction out of that humble face when he came back up.

Sometimes it helps to rub it all in a little, don't you think? Just a little rub to remind him of your abilities? That's not too vindictive is it?


Cannwin spends her time searching for her inner Shakespeare in the hopes that one day she will be able to dethrone the king and take her place as the  greatest writer of all time. She currently resides in South Dakota with her husband and four children. You can explore more of her world at The Great and Random Ramblings of CannwinThe Literary Soundtrack, and askCannwin.

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