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Hold On to Your Kids

I met some women from my ward this week for lunch. As I was  sitting there listening I heard them complain about the school, the  friends, how they had to change schools because of the drug problems,  how one daughter is getting all "F's"  I then looked at them and said, "  well, that's why I home school."  (this is a high-rated high school, btw)

I am so glad  that I cannot join in on that conversation.

I've done public school. I had two of my kids go through all 12  grades. It can work.

But I do get tired of the on-lookers thinking that I'm making some big mistake--that kids need this great socialization that happens at school. 

I have  friends tell me that I should put my 15-year old in high school. One  friend even asked my son, "don't you want to go to school?"

It's hard enough to hang on to your kids, sending them off to  school may be easier and parents may think it is good for kids to learn  to deal with the real world. But the teenage brain is not that well  developed as scientists are beginning to find out. Hold on To Your Kids is not a home-schooling book, it's about parenting.

It's for all of us.
"This books helps  support the need to be more involved. It comes at a time when more  parents are working outside the home. I think we need to take care and  pay attention, it passes all too quickly.

Like countless other parents, Canadian doctors Neufeld and  Maté woke up one day to find that their children had become secretive  and unreachable. Pining for time with friends, they recoiled or grew  hostile around adults. Why? The problem, Neufeld and co-writer Maté  suggest, lies in a long-established, though questionable, belief that  the earliest possible mastery of the rules of social acceptance leads to  success. In a society that values its economy over culture, the book  states, the building of strong adult/child attachments gets lost in the  shuffle. Multiple play dates, day care, preschool and after school  activities groom children to transfer their attachment needs from adults  to their peers. They become what the authors call "peer oriented." The  result is that they squelch their individuality, curiosity and  intelligence to become part of a group whose members attend school less  to learn than to socialize. And these same children are bullying,  shunning and murdering each other, as well as committing suicide, at  increasing rates. The authors' meticulous exploration of the problem can  be profoundly troubling. However, their candidness and exposition lead  to numerous solutions for reestablishing a caring adult hierarchy.  Beautifully written, this terrific, poignant book is already a  bestseller in Canada."

The book has ideas for all of us, the  home-schooling parents and the parents that send their kids to school.  Every one of us has a different hand of cards, and I appreciate that. We just need to look at our hand and make the best choices we can at this time of our lives. 



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