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Where Have the Good Men Gone?

Think about this:

In 1970 only 16% of Americans between 25-29 had never been married.

Today, 55% of Americans between 25-29 have never been married.

A recent article, Where Have the Good Men Gone? by Kay Hymowitz of The Wall Street Journal discusses why that statistic has undergone such a drastic change.

The article is a perfect representation of me (before I got married), many of my friends and a plethora of 20-something seekers of personal fulfillment.

Hymowitz claims that todays guys have created a new period of life called "pre-adulthood". This is a period of limbo between adolescence and adulthood where a guy kinda hangs out, seeks self fulfillment and gratification while desperately trying to avoid growing up.

The problem?

Well, according to Hymowitz, "it doesn't bring out the best in men."



I can't argue with her. In fact I laughed when I read it because I know that 18 months ago I was not too far off of this comedic (yet surprisingly on point) description of what a "guy" is:

"Guys talk about Star Wars' like it's a not a movie made for people half their age; a guy's idea of a perfect night is a hang around the PlayStation with his bandmates, or a trip to Vegas with his college friends.... They are more like the kids we babysat than the dads who drove us home."

Well played.

Except, we sat around an Xbox. I didn't have bandmates, but I did have crewmates (I breakdance). And yes, there were plenty of trips to Vegas!

I loved living that life.

In fact the only reason I changed was because my life fell apart.

Got dumped.

Lost job.

Went broke. (actually, went into debt is more accurate)

Moved home.

Then things kind of flipped around.


I started teaching seminary, the gospel principle class and slowly realized there might be more to life than breakdancing, playing Xbox and hanging out.

"We, the First Presidency and the Council of the Twelve Apostles of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, solemnly proclaim that marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God and that the family is central to the Creator's plan for the eternal destiny of His children."

Sound familiar?

The Family: A Proclamation To The World.

Central to the Creator's plan.

That is powerful stuff.

Postponing adulthood is not unique to non-LDS guys. This seems to be a big concern at the moment in Singles Wards. More and more guys are doing their own thing and putting off marriage.

So, the real question is, how do you reverse a trend that is spreading like wildfire, is encouraged by the media and is actually really fun?

The same way Alma the younger and the sons of Mosiah converted a bloodthirsty nation into a peaceful, righteous, God-fearing people....

The Gospel.


Kyle Aldous connects his life to the scriptures daily and blogs about it in "Liken365". He is a PR Director and LOVES to breakdance! He was recently married and is loving life!

Photo Credit: Barnaby Wasson

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