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10 Things To Know Before Having Your First Baby

1.  When that brand new babe latches on to breastfeed for the first time, it hurts like crazy. For me, more than labor, but no worries, the pain goes away after awhile. (Pretty sure a four letter word beginning with 's' jumped out of my mouth the first time I experienced this.)

2.  Don't expect to have any kind of muscle control when it comes to using the toilet. It's totally embarrassing, but there just isn't any nicer way to put it.

3. Lansinoh cream and your washing machine are about to become your two new best friends.

4.  Don't plan on sleeping at all for the next 6 weeks of your life. That way when you are lucky enough to manage a grand total of 3.25 hours a day, you won't be disappointed.

5.  The fabulous parenting book that 97% of your friends and family swear by, probably won't work for you and your baby.

6.  You are going to feel fairly confident that you are losing your mind. You are. But no worries, because it will come back. Most of it.

7.  After a few months, your hair is going to start falling out at an alarming rate, but no worries, you won't actually go bald.

8.  Diapers are not created equal.

9.  Mentally prepare yourself for wearing those maternity clothes for the next several months. Also, avoid looking in mirrors, especially when you're naked. Also, just resist the urge to check the scale, you'll only be disappointed.

10.  Labor and Deliver is the easy part.


Heather likes to think of herself as A Goddess in Progress, which is where she normally spills out the personal triumphs, failures, discoveries, and random details of her life as a new mom, and a military wife.

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