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Trade-offs in Motherhood

I was a bit of a runner when I married my husband, and I had the body  to prove it. I didn't need to work out to get in shape for the wedding  because I already was. Then, the kids arrived, he went to sea and had an  insane schedule when home, and I just couldn't find any real time to  myself to go to the gym, plus I was exhausted pretty much all the time.  Being in shape vanished along with my exercise time.

I set a goal to get back in shape when we moved 18 months ago, and  I've stuck to it. It's been over a year of 10-15 mile weeks, with some  strength training in between, and I've managed to drop almost two sizes.  I've been dancing around for the most part, but am finally well  acquainted with the reason people buy those spandex girdle things:  Pregnancy wreaks some serious havoc on your mid-section.

I  don't think my flat stomach is ever going to make a comeback. And I  haven't been very gracious about that. I've raged staring in the mirror,  I've agonized over it when picking out clothes, and I've felt so  discouraged I've just stayed home at times, rather than run. I really,  really want to return to that body I once owned and felt proud of. I am  coming face to face with the fact that it probably isn't ever going to  be mine again, and I'm struggling with that.

Today for  some reason has been one of those days where I just feel large and  frustrated. I found myself on the floor with my three year old, tossing  him in the air with my legs while he clung on tightly and screamed with  delight. I stared at his face and realized there was nothing on earth,  even a flat stomach, that would induce me to give him back.

Motherhood  is a pretty tough job sometimes. And it requires sacrifices you don't  quite expect when you are browsing the cute baby clothes or picking out a crib. Having my  sons took a toll on my body, but I hope the next time I'm raging in the  mirror, I remember that what is going on in my midsection was the result  of love. The end results were not what I expected, but worth every  sacrifice I've had to make so far. Including my flat stomach.


Ana is  a  restless soul who would love to keep moving around the world the  rest  of her life. This is probably why she married a submariner in the  U.S  Navy seven years ago. They have two energetic little boys, and   currently live in the Bahamas. She blogs about life in paradise at Sunrise on the Water.

*Pic is Ana's.

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