|Look out for those claws!|
My absolute least favorite (or perhaps "most hated" is more accurate) parenting job is the trimming of 40 fingers nails and 40 toe nails (OH the toe nails!).
I mean, sure, diapers are gross, and vomit is never fun, but for some reason the cutting of the nails kills me!
Perhaps it's because of how rapidly their nails seem to grow. Nary a week has passed before I'm required to trim them all again! What am I feeding them to cause this freakish growth?
Don't negate the dirt! Look, I love little boys. I want them to be as dirty as they need to be in order to fully experience life. Really, I do. I just rinse them off nightly, and call it good. But combine the insane length with the hours of back yard fun, and oh my goodness. It's just very unpleasant. *Shudder*
Add to that their disdain for the whole process, and I am ready to toss the clippers and let them all turn into little Edward Scissor Hands'. It's NOT MY FAULT their nails grow and therefore need trimming. So why do they yell at me? Recently Henry lamented, "I wish Heavenly Father didn't make my nails grow!"
I hear ya, kid, but what can we do?
Their declarations of pain are ridiculous. NO, I AM NOT HURTING YOU!
They cry out in pain so often that I have a hard time distinguishing when I actually DO hurt them by cutting a bit too close and when they are merely crying preventatively in fear at the possibility that I might hurt them in the vague future.
On a recent trip into the sixth circle of the BAD PLACE we call "nail-cutting", I was cruising right along, oldest to youngest, without drawing anyone's blood. SCORE!
Then, disaster! On the final toe nail of the final boy, a small bit flew off and landed in my eye. IN MY EYE! I couldn't get it out no matter how much I blinked. I finally went and inspected in a mirror. It was literally LODGED in and would not be freed. I had to dig it out with a q-tip. (Are you cringing?)
Perhaps you can now understand why it is the Worst.Job.Ever.
Morgan would rather do anything than cut toenails. It's gross. Follow her blog at The Ing Family.