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My children have started asking me for allowance.

APPARENTLY, all of their friends get money. 

Here is the thing, I don't want to give allowance. 

I think it is stupid. 

I know that it works for a lot of families. 

Just not mine. 

I did tell my kids that if they WORKED, then they could earn money. 

So they did their chores exceedingly fast. 

Then I had to clarify... I meant EXTRA work. 

Things like, washing the baseboards, and oiling the cabinet doors. 

Of course, this did not appeal to them, and they asked me one last time, 

"Are you SURE you can't give us an allowance?" 

And then, because I am probably the most meanest mom on the planet, I smiled and said, 

"I ALLOW you to eat dinner. I ALLOW you to use MY toilets, and MY showers, and MY water. I ALLOW you to sleep in a nice warm bed, and I ALLOW you to live here."

And then my children heaved an exasperated sigh, and that was the end of that. 

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About the Author: Caroline Bingham is managing editor of You can find her on Twitter, @CarolineBingham, or on her blog, Caroline and her husband live in Virginia with their four children.

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