Your Happily Ever After

Preparing For School With An Ex-Super Mom Part 2

Friday, September 30, 2011

Here is a video of me doing part of my preparing for school inventory, followed by some of the things we said no to this year and some of the things we decided were most important.

 

Things we said no to:

*I said no to two extra-curricular groups I have taught for a number of years.

*My husband said no to being the president of his singing organization.

*I decided not to direct a play this year.

*My children are saying no to some friend time because they are not going to be in as many extra-curricular groups and classes.


Things we said yes to:

*Lots more time together!

*We said we would be part of planning a family reunion for next year.

*We decided to have a Family History day. Every Thursday we are going to research our ancestors, learn about their lives, and what was happening in history when they were alive. It is our exciting approach to history.

*We decided to have a small Spanish group for my two youngest children.

*We decided to participate in Tiger Cubs for our youngest son.

*We decided to do more family camp trips

*We decided to go visit all of the counties in Utah for our Utah history/geography study and our field trip Fridays

*We decided to study World geography and do reports on a country or important world figure each month.

*We are having a family writing day each week when we share our writings and talk about it what can improve our writing.

*We are going to have a monthly family book discussion about one of the Family Books we are reading.

*Monday will be science day for the young ones.

*We are still going to sing a lot. We love singing as a family. Remember this one http://teachingselfgovernment.com/peck-family-sings-what-family-629

*We decided that evenings as a family need to be protected more.

These are the new things. Of course we do other regular things like music lessons and regular school stuff, getting Quin his driver's license, and church stuff.

Our Plan

This is a copy of the Peck Family Schedule for 2011 – 2012. Of course it may vary from time to time. We realize it is important to take regular breaks from schedules to keep everyone feeling refreshed.

Take a look at our schedule. 

Super Moms

I have a new take on super moms. Super moms are the kind of moms who do less of the social stuff to do more of the family stuff. Super moms are the kind who take time to consider and plan carefully before they commit the family to something time consuming. I am trying to be that kind of super mom. Not the kind who sees more of her car than her child's face and hands. I'm not perfect yet, but as the years go by we find more and more happiness as a family as I keep my life in balance. When I am balanced the whole family becomes more powerful. Just like the majestic wind mills you see as you drive down the highway.

-----


Nicholeen Peck is a popular public speaker, television personality, and author. Her blog is Teaching Self Government. The BBC show of her family can be found there, as well as answers to frequently asked parenting questions. To buy her book click here.

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Multi Tasking

Thursday, September 29, 2011


Last week I was hanging out with my Sister and Mom. We had been visiting for quite a while when I decided I wanted to check my email.

Wanted, not needed.

I pulled out my phone and started checking. Now, I was still listening to the conversation at hand, and even participating. I was just multi-tasking, Right?

I suddenly heard: "Elisa!" I answered "What," while still looking at my email. Again I heard "Elisa! Look at me." I looked up and my mom and sister were looking at me, and my sister said something profound.

"Put your phone away and be present in our conversation."
Be present in our conversation.

I have thought about that a lot-- that being present.

Technology is such that it has enabled us to "multi-task" in ways that we never could before. With the touch of a button you can have directions to the nearest restaurant or check your child's grades. But, in that ability to multi-task comes the risk of not being present with the people you are with. And, in reality it has enabled us.

Have you ever been in situations where the people you were with spent more time with the people inside their phone than they did looking you in the eye?

I have and it made me feel unimportant.

Very unimportant.
So, The Question I have is this:

How do you feel about people "Multi-tasking"while you are trying to carry on a conversation with other people?

Whether it be them checking their Email, Twitter, Facebook, Foursquare, Instgram, or even just playing a game on their phone.

How does it make you feel? 

What are your thoughts? 

Do YOU "Multi-task"? 

-----

About the Author: Elisa is the current owner of MMB. You can find her on twitter @themotherboard and her non-award winning, much neglected personal blog Crazyland: Tales from the Motherboard.

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Discussion Wednesday: Boundaries in Blogging

Wednesday, September 28, 2011



How much is TOO much information when it comes to your personal blog? 

Have you ever published something and wished you could take it all back? 

Are there certain topics that you don't even want to READ about? 

Join the discussion in our forums and let us know where your boundaries are. 


******** 
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 Follow us on: Twitter, Become a Facebook Fan and keep-up via Networked Blogs!

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Do You Have Grit? (True Grit)

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

I already know what I want for Christmas.
I've known for months now.
A subscription to the Harvard Business Review.

Nerd Alert!
I know, I know... But man, they've got so much quality material, it's ridiculous.

If you don't believe me, go check out their website:
You just might discover you're a nerd too.

They recently featured a post called "Nine Things Successful People Do Differently". Two items on the list really struck a chord.

Item #6 Have grit.
Item # 7 Build willpower muscle.

"Grit is the willingness to commit to long-term goals, and to persist in the face of difficulty."
Enter overused cliche': when the going gets tough, the tough get going.


Did you know that they use grit as a way to determine whether someone is going to be able to survive the rigors of military training? Did you know they use grit as a way to determine whether someone will make it to the Celestial kingdom?

Ok, so maybe it's not an "official" indicator. But it could work... think about it.

We're always being told to "endure to the end". You have committed to a long-term goal (perhaps the longest of them all) and every day your grit is tested. Every day you and I face a wide range of difficulties that are trying to keep us from our goal. It's up to us to keep our eye on the prize. It's up to us to persist in the face of difficulty.

Aside from obvious spiritual connection - think about how your grit is tested in other ways. My poor parents have had their grit tested daily by each one of us kids. (well, maybe not my sister Kailynn - she somehow turned out like Mary Poppins, practically perfect in every way) The rest of us have sent our parents through the wringer, over and over and over. Raising quality children is a loooooooooonnnggggg term goal that doesn't ever seem to stop and the difficulties that arise when trying to accomplish this goal can sometimes seem impossible to conquer.

So, the next time your child screams at you, comes home drunk, fails a class, refuses to go to church or just says no (to you), step back for a quick second, pony up the grit and know that you have what it takes to persist in the fact difficulty.

Now, let's talk about #7 - Build your willpower muscle. Ooohh, I love this one.
I can't think of muscle building without thinking of the great talk given by our former prophet, President Hinckley. "Faith is like the muscle of my arm. If I use it, if I nurture it, it will grow strong. If I put it in a sling and leave it there, it will grow weak."

The comparison works great to promote building faith. But willpower is a muscle too and quite a difficult one to build. Why? Building willpower requires you to seek to do something you don't really want to do. We love our comfort zones. In fact we tend to only leave these safe havens if we are forced to. And in that moment we feel as though our lives are shattered. Why? Because we have neglected to build our willpower. We have neglected to develop a muscle that will actually help us quickly conquer the challenges that lie outside our comfort zone.

Now what?
Well, go set a goal to accomplish something you DON'T want to do. I work in a toy/candy store. I LOVE candy. But I'm going to try and go an entire month without my beloved sugar. (I can already feel the withdrawls)

Being a nerd is sometimes a good thing.

----

Kyle Aldous connects his life to the scriptures daily and blogs about it in "Liken365". He is a PR Director and LOVES to breakdance! He was recently married and is loving life!

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Is There A Therapist in the House?

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

*photo credit here

My mothering style,
if I have one at all,
could be summed up in just a few adjectives and syllables:
Common Sense
Frankness
Black n' White...
and if you've been reading this lil' blog at all
I'm sure you've got some adjectives of your own
to add in there.

Being the Momza to seven yahoos,
I am clearly out-numbered
so any cleverness that comes to my mind
has to be as loud as a freight train
for me to hear it,
if you know what I mean?

When their needs exceed my abilities,
I am not ashamed to admit
I look for help
outside my self--
it might be in books about parenting
or scriptures,
it may come from friends or family--
like calling my oldest kids n' asking them to talk to the younger ones.
I use that approach a lot.
And sometimes, it might come from a professional counselor
like when we were in the midst of a 
divorce 13 years ago,
we needed an objective logical viewpoint and a
direction to focus all that energy in.
Hey, I'm logical--
if I can't fix it,
I go looking for someone who can.

SO, when the Caboose started her "pre-teen" meltdowns a few weeks ago--
you know the kind where the tears are just below the surface?
She hates her hair,
changes her clothing 3 times before putting on the same exact pair of shorts
she's worn nearly every day of summer,
and is so full of emotion every which way--
that the only logical explanation is that Madame Puberty is in the house!

Well, one day after giving as much consoling and re-direction that I had
and nothing worked, I said, rather exasperated:
"Your emotions exceed my abilities. Do you need counseling?"

I was not totally truthfully serious.
In fact, I was being sarcastic.
And the Caboose being the way she is--
smarter than the rest of the whole 
family combined--
shrugged it off like I knew she would
but did change her behavior with a fraction of civility.
She now apologizes to everyone after a meltdown.
Because, as I said to her,
it's unfair for us to have to witness her range of emotions.
I stand by that.
It is unfair. Cruel, even.

ANYWAY,
yesterday I realized just how much the Caboose has been thinking about
"counselling"--
the Caboose and Joseph came downstairs for lunch
and announced that they are each other's "counsellors".
"Yeah?" I laughed. "How's that going?"

"I asked Joe to tell me his greatest fears." The Caboose offered up.
I looked at Joseph, who has a slight grin on his face
and as he said to the Caboose,
"You can tell her."
"I can't." She protested. "It's against the confid-confid-thingy--the secret thing between patients and doctors.
You can tell her though."
"Oh", I said. "The confidentiality agreement?"
"Yeah. I can't tell anyone what is said between us." She answered.
So again I looked to Joseph.
"Your greatest fears? Do you even want me to know?"

Now, I'm thinkin' it's gonna have to do with
Math
or
Girls.
I was not even close to being prepared for what came next.

"Corn dogs and mustard." he said, with a I'm-just-messin-with-my-kid-sister-look.


The Caboose sat there,
proud as a peacock,
feeling like she had tapped into
some deep psychological well
of her big brother.

I bit my lip n' shook my noggin.
These are my kids.
*****

My kids played "Therapist" all day long.
Joseph was appointed to be The Caboose's
"Anger Management" therapist:
in which he has "taught" her to
"count to ten and take a deep breath"
when she gets mad at anyone.
Especially him.
While Daisie was appointed to be the Caboose's
"mental health and "using colors to heal"-- fashion expert.

I am not kidding.

And I'm a little afraid.
We may all need counseling by the time
this circus train pulls into town.


These are the
people
that are supposed to
take care of
me
when I'm old.

Dawn is the Mother of 7, Granma to 2, Doula, Home  Stager, Writer, and blogs it all at Momza's House.



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Perspective In Writing

Monday, September 26, 2011


Writers have many decisions to make about perspective. Shall I tell the story from first person point of view? Shall I use a narrator? Which set of eyes should I use to tell my story? Which viewpoint will tell it best? Or will more than one viewpoint shine a better light on my character?

And there's a completely different question about perspective that must be answered: do I tell the story as if it's happening now? Or as if the character is looking back on the events with the perspective of hindsight?

As a writer, I have to answer all these questions, and I have to do it in a way that's fresh. I have to ask myself, like Orson Scott Card says, "How ELSE could it happen?" I must learn to not pick the quick, obvious answer, but look deeper.

I must learn to really look. See more clearly. With less tired eyes.

Look at the picture again. Change your viewpoint, your perspective. Imagine yourself high above the couple, looking down. Now they are lying on the concrete at the bottom of a flight of stairs.

How ELSE could it happen?

A change in perspective is often a good thing, whether in writing or life.
-----

Margot is a mom of seven and pretty much crazy from it. Online she's known as the Damsel in Dis Dress and blogs at the Old School (http://www.mynewoldschool.com/) and twitters at @the_damsel. A blog about her writing adventures is found at Inklings.






photo

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Closer Than Your Breath!

Monday, September 26, 2011


I heard that term today, used to describe a feeling.  I loved it.  Think about it for just a moment, "Closer than your breath".

 I have learned in my life that there are times when I experience Heavenly Father's nearness to me. I feel His welcoming presence.  I feel His love.  I know that He is watching out for me.

There are other times, when He seems so far away.  When I come to know the loneliness of feeling alone.  I have come to realize, that the Lord has not changed locations.  He is still there, still close, still waiting for me.  I might have changed my distance from Him.  I might have my own agendas and purposes that take me away from His spirit.  I might forget what it feels like to be near to Him.  I might even forget that I want to be near to Him.

I have found that it helps me to spend time looking for Him in my everyday life.  It helps to acknowledge His guiding hand in my many blessings.  I spend time everyday trying to decide what is in His plan for me, what I need to do, and how I should be doing it.

I have also found that I can find Him even more often when I sit back and am quiet.  I find Him in the silence of the scriptures, in my meditations, even in my reading.  I find Him as I find the beauty that surrounds me in photography.  I find Him in my prayers each night and morning, I find Him in the songs I sing, I find Him in the quiet of a peaceful walk, or even in my heart when I take the time to reflect, relax, and just breath.

I have come to see, that sometimes I am reaching so hard to find the miraculous that I totally miss all the miracles that surround me.  All the simple, ordinary, everyday miracles that make life worth living.  I have found that when I count my blessings, I can find Him in all of them.  When my trials have been worse than I believed I could ever bear, He has always been there, closer than my breath, waiting for me to reach out to Him.

-----
 About the Author: Patty Ann is a busy mother, grandmother, and wife. She lives her life in the woods she loves up on the top of a beautiful mountain. She loves music, photography and writing. Most of all she loves her Heavenly Father and enjoys writing about his influence in her life. You can find her on her blog at Pitterle Postings

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Post of the Week

Saturday, September 24, 2011


Sometimes we (Elisa and myself) get sidetracked by life, and forget to do things like, schedule the post of the week. #facepalm

We have come to realize that some of you don't KNOW what the post of the week is. And that is a SHAME. Because it's my most favorite part of the week.... when I remember to do it. 

AT ANY RATE. 

The Post of the Week is when YOU, dear readers, get to show off your blog gloriousness. You link up your favorite posts from the week, and then people come and visit you. It's like advertising... for your blog. And you can link up stories, crafts, recipes, or anything else you see fit. Because it's YOUR favorite links. It's like a once-a-week linking free for all. Fun, right? 

SO. Link up your blog. The only thing we ask is that you please link to the individual blog post, and not your entire site. And that it be family friendly. (This IS Mormon Mommy Blogs, after all.) Then you can hop around and see what everyone else is up to. It's pretty much fantastic. 

So Get Linking! 


******** 
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 Follow us on: Twitter, Become a Facebook Fan and keep-up via Networked Blogs!

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Preparing For School With An Ex-Super Mom Part 1

Friday, September 23, 2011


We have all heard the term “super mom” before. Some people have a positive association with the term. They think, “Wow, that lady is amazing. I want to be a super mom like her.” And, some have a negative association with the term. They think, “Oh, she's one of those crazy super moms.”

Well, whether you love or hate the term, the idea does suggest something. Moms do a lot! Sometimes moms do too much and need to slow down and focus on what is most important.

Let's face it, it is just too easy to run around all day and miss the “good stuff” in life; like reading with the children on the couch, playing games on the carpet, teaching a young one to sew, or painting at the park. These are the moments which bind us together. I have noticed for a long time that quality of time has a lot to do with quantity of time. In fact, without quantity, quality is frequently not as binding for the relationship.

I usually get a craving to do an inventory of my life with the change of each season. However, my two biggest inventories of the year happen in August to prepare for the school year, and in January to prepare for the New Year. If you are like me right now is the time to look at what needs to be focused on for the school year, what clubs or classes your child will be involved in, and what new responsibilities you want to take on to support family or community.

Having these regular inventory times keeps me analyzing what is really best for me and my family. It keeps us balanced.

Recently, I was able to hear Carl Wall talk about the the analogy of the wind mill. Mr. Wall talked about how those big wind mills we see making energy on the side of the roads are great examples for our lives. A few of his points were incredibly poignant. Carl Wall said:

“We are like the wind mills which create power...The wind is like the adversity in our lives....We must face it to generate power for ourselves and others...The blades of the mill must be exactly balanced to work properly...If they are not balanced the wind mill wrecks...We also need to have balance in our lives so that we don't wreck...If we are out of balance we can't create that much power...”

”Wind mills have breaks...They are only built to go so fast...If a wind mill goes too fast it doesn't make as much power...The mills have breaks to make the most power possible...The slow turning creates power which others can use...We also, should not run faster than we have strength or we will not make as much usable power for ourselves and others around us...We need to apply the breaks for increased power...”

Here is a video of an out of balance or non-breaking wind mill wreck. I'm not sure which problem this wind mill had, but you get the idea.


Here is a video of me doing part of my preparing for school inventory, followed by some of the things we said no to this year and some of the things we decided were most important.



To Be Continued... 

-----



Nicholeen Peck is a popular public speaker, television personality, and author. Her blog is Teaching Self Government. The BBC show of her family can be found there, as well as answers to frequently asked parenting questions. To buy her book click here.

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Putting the Pieces Together: 12 Ways to Find Solutions in Challenging Times

Thursday, September 22, 2011

It All Begins with a Pile of Pieces
A few weeks ago, I noticed my daughter dumping puzzle pieces onto a little table near our kitchen. It’s the place where the birthday and anniversary flowers stand in their vases until the leaves wilt and the petals fall off. It's also the place where we do puzzles.

I love puzzles. That’s why I ended up putting most of that one together a few weeks ago. Other members of our family, including my daughter, helped from time to time, but I did most of it alone. 

It was challenging at times, but it was also rewarding. From the time we put the first two pieces together until my daughter pressed the last one into place, the exercise repeatedly reminded me of ways that we can all find solutions to life’s most difficult challenges. 

How It All Comes Together

Have you ever asked yourself, “How am I ever going to get through this?” or something like that. Maybe you lost your job and couldn’t pay your bills. Maybe someone you love struggled with an addiction. Maybe you were so depressed that you couldn’t get out of bed. In fact, you may be facing similar challenges right now. Here are twelve ways you can find solutions:

1. Start with the edge pieces. Know your boundaries before you begin.
2. Put it together in patches. Divide big challenges into smaller ones and solve them one at a time.
3. Refer to the picture on the box. Keep a clear vision of what your life can become.
4. Take each piece one at a time. Pay attention to the details in front of you right now.
5. If it doesn’t fit, move on. Let go of beliefs, expectations and behaviors that don’t work.
6. If it works, stick with it. Keep doing what actually works, even when it’s hard.
7. Take a break once in a while. Step away when you're not at your best.
8. Come back fresh. Get back to it as soon as you’re ready.
9. Enjoy the process. Learn to smile at both your setbacks and successes.
10. Celebrate your progress. Recognize how far you’ve already come.
11. Let others help you. Include others in the process, even when you're confident that you can do it alone.
12. Be willing to work alone. Find solutions on your own if you have to, even when you're worried that you can't.

The pieces of our puzzle eventually combined to create the image of a tropical forest beneath a bright sky and beside a peaceful sea. Looking at the finished work, I could hear the sounds of the ocean, feel the breeze blowing over me and sense the soft, white sand beneath my feet. It was a very nice daydream. When we learn to find solutions to whatever challenges may come, that’s how beautiful our real lives can be too.

Is there something on this list that has helped you find solutions in the past?
Is there something on this list that can help you find solutions right now? 

-----

John Brailsford studies the lives and teachings of happy people and shares what he learns with others. He's a licensed marriage and family therapist, certified family life educator, and transition coach with Homeward Bound.  He also holds a Ph.D. in Family and Child Sciences from Florida State University. John has been married to an amazing woman for over two decades, and they're the parents of four wonderful people. You can learn more about him and his approach to finding fulfillment at drjohnbrailsford.com

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Meet and Greet

Wednesday, September 21, 2011



We're having a Meet and Greet today in the MMB Community! We want to know all about you and what you're up to in life, so hop on over and share what's going on in your life! 

.

******** Get MMB’s newest posts in email or in your blog reader. Follow us on: Twitter, Become a Facebook Fan and keep-up via Networked Blogs!

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Never, Never, Never Give Up

Wednesday, September 21, 2011



I grew up watching Charlie Brown cartoons on the local television stations. Yes, I am rather old. We did not have VCR's or DVD's or rentals. (Heaven forbid! I must have lived with the cave men!) We had to wait all year until the show that we liked came on the network again.

We used to get the TV Guide in the mail, and my brother, sister and I would go through it and circle the shows that we wanted to see. Charlie Brown was one of the shows that we could all agree on.

I loved that bald-headed kid! His wisdom is totally amazing to me, even after all these years. One of the classic scenes in of the Charlie Brown movies is of Lucy holding the football for Charlie Brown. No matter how many times Charlie Brown tries to kick that ball, he always ends up with the same result - he is flat on his back, looking at the sky as Lucy pulls the ball and makes him fall and than laughs as she holds it high in the air. But, though it happens over and over again, he NEVER gives up!

I have found that life can be quite a bit like a Charlie Brown comic strip. It doesn't always give us the things we want. We don't always get the things that we hoped for or wished for. Our dreams don't always come true. Our heart can get hurt. Our knees can become feeble. Our hands can hang down in discouragement. Sometimes, we can feel as if there are no happily-ever-after's to be found.

But hope can make a difference, one situation, one task, and even one person at a time.

Even when you feel as if there is not a lot that you can do to change unhappiness or problems that surround you, remember that you can always do a little.

And that one, small and simple little bit, can make all the difference in someone else's world as well as your own.

Expect to have your hopes fulfilled. Expect to have joy in your day. Expect to have your prayers answered in wonderful and joyous ways. Expect your heart to be lifted and your tears to be wiped away.

Expect that tomorrow can and will bring a better day.

"All human wisdom is summed up in two words -
wait and hope. "
Alexander Dumas


********


Patty Ann is a busy mother, grandmother, and wife. She lives her life in the woods she loves up on the top of a beautiful mountain. She loves music, photography and writing. Most of all she loves her Heavenly Father and enjoys writing about his influence in her life. You can find her on her blog at Pitterle Postings.



********

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The Sign Gallery

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

My oldest daughter has a knack for communicating in such a way that there is no misunderstanding how she feels, and such artistry should be shared. And so, I have decided to open the doors to her personal gallery and invite you all to come forth and be inspired.

As we are a non-profit organization, large donations of intrinsic or cocoa value are requested at the end of the tour.

Thank you.

Step right this way and please watch out for the diaper left in the hallway.

Behold, Savannah's inner closet door.

This is where the signs reside until needed. When their service is required, they then make the journey to her bedroom door, to the place of honor and recognition.


Title: I am Mad
Medium: Graphite on paper
Artist: Savannah

By far, the most popular piece, this sign has often held the place of honor.

As if it wasn't obvious by her severely pouting face, folded arms and growling voice, this little artist wants to make sure we understand how she feels.


Title: I am Sad
Medium: Graphite on paper
Artist: Savannah

Coming in close second, this drawing expresses itself without the need for words. I also find this to be quite an accurate portrait.

Whenever I am crying like this, I feel like one of my eyes are bigger than the other as well! Brilliant really.



Title: I am Glad
Medium: Graphite on paper
Artist: Savannah

The eyelashes are a touch that I personally love.

This is a very thought provoking piece. Don't you wonder why her eyes are closed? Is it peace? Contentment? Or maybe she's trying to hide something by not looking directly at me?


Title: I am Mad and Sad and Glad
Medium: Crayon on paper
Artist: Savannah

Truthfully, I dread the day when this sign adorns the bedroom door.

Which emotion should I address first? Will one emotion grow stronger if I show favor to one over the other? What if the faces start fighting?
This is very intense for me. It puts all my motherly skills to the test.


Title: No Moms Allowed
Medium: Crayon on paper
Artist: Savannah

Reserved for only the WORST of offences, like taking away a treat or a toy due to bad behavior, I suppose she resorted to this method upon discovering that locking the door doesn't work.

Title: Yes, Moms Allowed
Medium: Crayon on paper
Artist: Savannah

It's always nice to know when you are held in good favor and are allowed and welcome to come in.


If anyone is interested in special ordering their own set of signs from Savannah, please contact Serene @ Signs for the Emotionally Confused.

I suspect she will do well in marriage. I can just see her designing a "I am mad" sign for her husband....



********



Serene is a mom of five crazy kiddos who blogs about all her parenting misadventures at Serene is my name, Not my life! She is also a freelance artist so be sure to view her portfolio page!





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Marriage: A Castle Built for Two

Monday, September 19, 2011

 Castle: a fortified, permanently garrisoned stronghold.
You know how you stare at the inside of your fridge expecting something new to appear or the contents to rearrange themselves into a casserole? That’s me, gaping at an English tube map, bus schedule, or train station reader board. If it weren’t for the fact that our daughter inherited her father’s GPS genes, I would not have gone 150 miles from London to Shropshire without Dale; I am discombobulated too easily without him. Hannah however, navigated with aplomb - all over medieval Ludlow.

Walled in by Tudor and Elizabethan architecture on every cobbled lane, it is easy to imagine villagers pulling carts and noblemen steering horses through the mayhem of ancient Ludlow. The surreal was strongest at Ludlow Castle, whose ruins lord over a winding river and rolling green countryside.

The vista from the castle embankment is so picturesque, you would swear a master landscaper had designed it to the last hedge, grove, and cottage roof. A long line of royals had defended Ludlow Castle since 1066 and as we wandered through its stone rooms, stairwells, and turrets, I began to muse how a marriage is "like unto" a castle...

“The castle has a double nature; it is both a home and a fortress...(It is) this double nature which makes the castle so different from dwellings and fortification of other periods...

●One of the things that makes castles interesting is that they are all different. Primarily this is because they were built by men of differing ranks, at different times in different regions...
●This is what makes castles so interesting, that they are both so variable and yet are built according to certain clear principles...

●No castle ever stood in isolation. It was always part of a community. Indeed, there were two communities: the one within the castle, the other surrounding it and forming its milieu...

●A castle may exist inside a town but must be able to be cut off by the closing of a gate or the raising of a drawbridge."
(The Medieval Castle In England And Wales, by N. J. G. Pounds) 

Shropshire exhilarated and exhausted me. Back at Reading station, we dodged the crowds and dragged our luggage; it was all too much: sensory, physical overload. Stepping onto the crowded down-escalator, I crumbled emotionally.

And then – through all the moving bodies on the floor below – I saw him: towering over the commotion; his face full of calm anticipation, riveted on mine: so solid, so sure, so still. I melted the instant I reached him. My honey is a big man, and his arms supported as much as comforted his lady-in-distress. As he kissed me I began to cry.

Here, I thought, is my fortress and defense.

HERE is my very own castle.

 
“Love in marriage not only serves to seal up a man and a woman in a valid union, it seals out everything and everyone alien to that union.” - Rodney Turner

CLIMB TO THE TOP OF LUDLOW CASTLE
with our daughter, Lady Hannah...ya gotta go all the way!


********

Mona is happily home (Washington state) after 13 months incredible months in England and Europe. She muses every Sunday at Mona's Gospel Musings and preaches romance in marriage at Mona's Musings with a Hint of Romance. She is the mother of four plus three and grandmother of two and the award-winning author or With Mine Own Hand: The Musical Account of Nephi. For a daily Hint of Romance, go to Mona's Musings on Facebook.

Photos by Mona and video by Hannah





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Everyone Has A Story to Tell

Friday, September 16, 2011

Everyone has a story to share. I firmly believe that. Sometimes it just takes a little while for people to open up enough for you to learn their story-- but its there if you listen hard enough.

There is even a segment on CBS News as well as an entire show on BYUtv both are dedicated to this concept of everyone having a story to share.

A couple of years ago I heard a story on NPR about a project called Story Corps. They were traveling around the country with an Airstream type recording studio inside the mobile home. You could show up at the various locations it was parked and record whatever story it was that you wanted to record.

A lot of people were taking their Grandparents to record them telling the stories of their youth-- to preserve the memories as well as the sound of their voice.

What a treasure those recorded stories are for people to listen to now, especially if their loved ones have passed on.

This concept of everyone having a story to tell got us thinking with regards to the Story @ Home Conference. We firmly believe everyone has a story to tell, they just need an opportunity to do so. We really wanted to do something like Story Corps for the attendees of the conference, hence iTell was born.

iTell was inspired by the Story Corps concept -- you can come and record your story, or favorite blog post(s) with our professional staff and leave with your very own personal DVD. And the best part? It's free to all participants of the conference.

Seriously, how cool would it be for your kids to have a DVD recording of you telling the stories that they love to hear from your youth? Or how about you read one (or a couple) of your favorite blog post(s) for posterity’s sake? Your kids will think you are a rock star, that’s how cool it is!

I tell you what, there is something to be said about hearing an author READ their blog posts. You get the inflections where the author wanted them to be, and you can hear the emphasis on the words that they felt were important.

Often times, when I have heard a blogger read their blog posts, the meaning of the post(s) change for me-- because I am able to hear the post the way the author intended it to be heard.

I think of all the amazingly fantastic things we have planned for the Story @ Home Conference, the iTell is my favorite! I personally can’t wait to get inside that booth and record My Stories.

The iTell experience is included in the $79.00 Full Conference Pass and times for the iTell are starting to fill up. Get your ticket to the conference and reserve your time in the iTell today.

Your children and grandchildren will thank you for thinking of them, recording your voice and sharing your words.

-----
The Story @ Home Conference is sponsored in part by Mormon Mommy Blogs and The Casual Blogger Network.

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Pick Your Battles

Friday, September 16, 2011


I've been having strange things happen with my kids at the park lately. Most recently it was blatant towel theft. We got to splash park with four towels.

We left with three and a broken-hearted four year old.

It wasn't like we "misplaced" the towel and then decided it was stolen. No, a fellow splasher took it, and her mother insisted it was hers. 

It wasn't, of that I am absolutely certain.

My children wanted me to march up there and yank our towel back.

I wouldn't.

Instead, we had a very important discussion with my children: Pick your battles. 

The towel wasn't "special" or anyone specific's. It was just a towel from home. I made it abundantly clear that if it was an important item, a loved toy or someone's towel, we would have fought that battle. 

It was hard for my kidlets to grasp: not everything is worth the fight. 

Admittedly, I felt frustrated with the mom on the other end of the situation. Really? You're positive that is YOUR towel that was with OUR other three towels and has the frayed side? Really? 

I was frustrated but not willing to fight it out.

I do not want my children to be doormats. However, some things we have to let go. 

It's important to teach our kids to stand up for themselves and what they believe in. I know this. 

But I feel strongly that it is also important to teach them that sometimes it's okay to back down. 

Sometimes, that is even harder. 

-----
 
From August 2011
Morgan chases boys during the day and squeezes in blogging when she can. Find her at The Ing Family. 
 
 
 
 
 



*photo credit: Find your Calm*

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Story @ Home

Thursday, September 15, 2011




What Caroline and I both personally love the very most about blogging are the stories that we capture. Stories are what blogs are made of -- not reports of your daily adventures, but Stories. When you find a blog that you love to visit over and over again, what is it about that blog that brings you back to it again and again?

The Stories.
 
Sometimes it might be the recipes, or amazeball crafts or fantastically beautiful photos that lure you in, but for the most part it’s the stories that are being shared. Happy stories, funny stories, thought provoking stories and sometimes even sad stories. But, over all stories are what connect blogger to blogger.

We wanted to build on that concept and idea and help bloggers refine their storytelling skills so they can not only be better writers, but over all just better story tellers. It is a fantastic skill to have—this capturing of stories—and the Story @ Home Conference is going to help you take your stories – your blog posts—to the next level.

The Story @ Home Conference is being produced and presented by Cherish Bound; It is being hosted by Family Search, and The Casual Blogger Network (that’s MMB peeps!) is one of three title sponsors.

We have gathered some of the finest story tellers, and information gatherers from around the world to come and teach you the art of writing and storytelling with the most exciting part of it all being the cost—$79.00 for a full conference pass! We will be holding the conference March 8-10th in downtown Salt Lake City at the Joseph Smith Memorial Building and The Conference Center for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

We have taken the most popular classes from the Casual Blogger Conference and are bringing them to you again in an exciting new way. The most exciting thing about the Story @ Home Conference are the other two other tracks that are being offered at the same time—Family History and Storytelling.

Professional Storytellers, Genealogists and Bloggers all do the same thing—capture stories. They are just doing it different ways. We felt like it would be a fantastic opportunity for us to learn from each other the tricks of our trades—story telling—and what works and what doesn’t. The thing that binds these three tribes together is the common element of story telling.

If we are completely honest with ourselves, that is really what our blogs are about—the Stories of our lives that we want to capture for our posterity. Isn’t that a little like Family History and Story Telling wrapped up all nice and pretty like in a lovely red box called Blogging?

You bet it is!

In the next  few days we will be featuring some of our most favorite parts of the new conference—just to get you excited. Trust us when we tell you—this is going to be unlike ANY conference you have ever attended. Ever.

Think: Classy. Swanky. Hip. Fun.

You can also watch the Family Search Blog for their post on the upcoming Story @ Home Conference. They have exciting information that they will be sharing.

Pick up your tickets for the Story @ Home Conference on March 8-10 2012 in Salt Lake City before they are all gone. We are totally excited by the response we have seen this early with ticket sales.

We will not be adding additional seats this year. Once they are gone, they’re gone. So what are you waiting for?


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What Would You Do?

Thursday, September 15, 2011


I have a friend who's in the mist of an ongoing disagreement with her husband.  And she came to me wanting to know if she was crazy, or if it was possible, there were other women like her, who felt the same way about something.

Here's the situation.

Her husband spends huge amounts of time on facebook, chatting and messaging old girl friends and mutual friends of him and his wife, who happen to be women.  And she doesn't understand it.  She feels ignored emotionally and doesn't know how to encourage her husband to talk with her as his wife and best friend, instead of women with whom he is not married too. 

She also can't wrap her brain around the thought of why these women spend so much time in return, replying to his messages and continuing such conversations.  Many of them are married themselves.  All of them are LDS.  She wonders if their husbands know what they are doing.....and if they do, why they are okay with it.

When she came to me and shared her troubles, I asked her if she had had a heart to heart talk with her husband of how what he is doing truly does hurt her.  She said she had, but that he brushed her feelings aside, saying she was acting insecure and paranoid.  That what he is doing is perfectly fine....that it isn't any different than her chatting and messaging her own facebook friends.  When she said that she never does what he does with guys on facebook.....in fact many of the girls he communicates with are not her friends, only his,  (All of the guys who are her facebook friends are her husband's as well.)  He retorted back, "Well that's your problem, not mine."

I sat there completely at a loss of what to say....thinking to myself: "What is the difference between an emotional affair and a friendship with a person of the opposite sex?"

What would you have said to her?

Where do you draw the line with your spouse when it comes to ongoing communications with ex girlfriends, women co-workers, friends at church who are of the opposite sex, etc.?

-----

Katy is a fan of blogging, family, music and anything chocolate.  Her roller coaster of thoughts can be found at www.ourdaisylife.blogspot.com.  Admission is always free.





*Picture Owned here

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Discussion Wednesday - The Average Joe

Wednesday, September 14, 2011


Today we are talking about the being AVERAGE.

It seems like everyone is desperate to prove that they're SPECTACULAR. They want to have AMAZING kids, and an AMAZING home, and an AMAZING marriage...

What ever happened to being typical? When did we stop being content with who we are, and what we have? What is so wrong with being normal?


.

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What's Your Happily Ever After?

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Raise your virtual hand if you love seeing President Dieter F. Uchtdorf stand at the pulpit at General Conference! His sincere love and kindness just seem to exude through the screen, don’t you agree? I recently found an interesting tidbit of information on President Uchtdorf, and his sweetheart, Harriet: they don’t have a single picture from their young married life. Until now.

President Uchtdorf was just about to finish submitting his final touches for his new book, Your Happily Ever After, to his publisher, when he received a letter in the mail. The letter was from a man named Doug Halladay, a resident of Utah. Halladay is a former missionary who served in Berlin, Germany. While serving at a stake conference in Berlin, Halladay took this picture of a very young and dapper Dieter and Harriet Uchtdorf. (Doesn’t she look like Audrey Hepburn?) President Uchtdorf quickly submitted it to be included in his book.

I found it romantically ironic that just when President Uchtdorf was about to submit a book entitled Your Happily Ever After, he received the only picture he knows to exist of his happily ever after, Harriet, just after marrying her.

What’s YOUR favorite picture of your “happily ever after?”

- - - - - - - - -
Disclaimer: This is a sponsored post by Deseret Book. Click here to purchase your own copy of President Uchtodorf's book Happily Ever After or visit your local Deseret Book Store.

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Getting the most out of General Conference

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

I have a confession. I am terrible at watching conference.

Don't get me wrong, I love it. I love listening to our leaders, and I do get inspired.

I also get sleepy, antsy, and annoyed at the people in my house.

In fact, I really, REALLY love the Conference issue of the Ensign, because I'm better at reading than I am at listening.

THEREFORE, I have new plan to get the most of General Conference.

First of all, we have to talk about food. I don't want to be in the kitchen, getting snacks and drinks, when I should be downstairs listening to the prophet. I'm going to have to make a menu, and I'm going to have to prepare beforehand, so that I'm not distracted during the sessions. I'm not planning on having anything fancy, but I think having a crockpot full of chili, and some baked potatoes would be a really smart idea.

Of course, I'd want to have easy, quick food ideas available too. Maybe some chicken salad and rolls, or even something as simple as a bag of salad from the grocer. It's easy, quick, and requires little clean up. I'll also have a few baked treats available for my kids. I was thinking that we could have a "new treat" for each session.

I also am thinking that we will be going with paper plates that weekend. Because I don't want to deal with dishes.

Second, notes. I plan on having my laptop open, and taking notes. I can't have a notebook, because then I end up drawing and doodling for two days, but I can have my computer on and pay attention. I can also tweet and facebook my favorite quotes, which will help me stay focused.

Third, the kids. I am going to say that it's unrealistic for me to expect my kids to sit and watch conference for two days. It just is. Which is why I plan to have stations set up in the house, that are church-friendly. That way, even if they're not listening to every single word that is being said, they still know that this is a special weekend, and that our focus is on church and God and conference.

I am really excited about the upcoming General Conference, and I have my fingers crossed that this time, I'll really get something special out of it.

Do you have special preparations or traditions at your house for General Conference weekend?



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About the Author: Caroline Bingham is managing editor of MormonMommyBlogs.com. You can find her on Twitter, @CarolineBingham, or on her blog, TheBinghamDiaries.com. Caroline and her husband live in Virginia with their four children.



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Never Forget

Monday, September 12, 2011

The military has been a part of my life for quite a while now. In fact, it was one of the things that attracted me to my husband. I'd known soldiers (my brother mostly) and I deeply admired the honor such a commitment represented. I can still remember my-then boyfriend coming over to my apartment dressed to the nines in his Class A's. I don't recall where he was going, but I won't forget the masculine power that emanated from him and as soon as I saw him in that uniform I was a lost woman.

Not only did it appeal to my femininity, but also to my respect for those qualities of duty, courage, and honor. I saw it as being a part of something greater than self and I loved it in my future husband, but those were days of peace. My childish mind barely registered the true oaths of a soldier, and I honestly didn't really care. I was enamored with the romantic notions of being a soldier's wife.

When September 11, 2001 happened we had been married for less than a year and I was pregnant with our first child.


Everyone asks 'Where were you?' 'What's your story?'

My story is this-- The first words I heard about the attacks were from my brother-in-law calling to ask if my husband been put on Alert yet (meaning that the military calls and requires them to stay near a phone until further details come in). I was so confused, of course I knew what 'Alert' meant but I didn't understand what my brother in law was talking about.

Then I turned on the TV... and I stood there, phone held limply in one hand while the other clutched my round belly. I watched those planes and I knew, I knew, that our lives would never be the same. I knew, as every soldiers wife knew on that day, what sacrifices those planes meant.

Less than a year I had with my husband before the military reached out and took him back.

They say that when you marry a soldier, you marry the military. It's completely true.

The sense of duty and honor that I so admired in my husband became something I dreaded. I knew, before five breaths had ended, and my brother in law prompted me to speak, that my husband would be involved, because his honor dictated that he be. His country needed his help and he'd already promised to be there. A promise given long before he met me.

I didn't know anyone in those Towers, or in the Pentagon. I didn't know anyone on the plane that crashed in Pennsylvania... but I knew soldiers. I knew a lot of soldiers. My life was surrounded by soldiers and my heart was currently residing in one's hands.

So today, as I write this, I can't believe it's been ten years. It doesn't feel like it. Not in my home, not in my life. I imagine that some people were able to go back to their lives, but Sept. 11th changed mine. It still is.

This month will mark the third wedding anniversary my husband has missed and nearly 3 years of separation accrued. Our marriage has been beaten and bandaged and stitched, painstakingly, back together. It has been filled with loneliness, heartache, fear, and pain.

But, something has happened along this bumpy little road of ours. Something spectacular! My husbands sense of honor has rubbed off on me. That devotion to country that I loved so dearly all those years ago has become part of the very fiber of who I am.

LOVE my country. I LOVE my husband. I LOVE the military.

I am proud of my husband. I am proud of our sacrifices.

And I would never change that.

Not for all the lonely nights, not for all the tears that I've spilled.

I've discovered what it was that I loved first about my husband--that even at 23 years old he knew that there was something greater than us in this world and that was freedom. My husband taught me that no terrorist, no war-monger, will ever tear that away from us... not in my family... not ever.

- - - - - - -
Cannwin spends her time searching for her inner Shakespeare in the hopes that one day she will be able to dethrone the king and take her place as the greatest writer of all time. She just moved with her husband and four children from South Dakota to the sunny SouthWest. You can explore more of her world at The Great and Random Ramblings of Cannwin.

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It's My Spot

Monday, September 12, 2011


While discussing the purpose of suffering in the Relief Society, I made a dot in the center of the dry erase board and then drew a line all the way to the edge. I walked around the perimeter of the chapel, continuing an imaginary line, marker mid-air, until I came back to the dot on the board.

Imagine this line as eternity,” I said. “And imagine this dot representing our mortal probation. As we agreed earlier in our discussion, we can only internalize many important lessons while on earth, through opposition, to prepare for all the rest.” I swept my hand around the room. Is it any wonder then that with so much to learn in such a short time [pointing at the dot], that life is a crash course?

They looked thoughtful.

Yet we expect our ‘dot’ to be a smooth line in and of itself, with only occasional blips,” I continued the line metaphor, using the board to draw what looked like a healthy EKG; praying I was making sense to them.

Suddenly, a voice from the back rang out: “That may be YOUR life, Mona,” (referring to the smooth line with a couple of hiccups), “but it’s not mine!

The room froze at the mockery in her voice. If we’d been in a Wild West saloon, everyone would have backed away, clearing the space between us.

That’s not my point.” I answered carefully. This little line is not MY life. This line is NOBODY’S LIFE.

It got very quiet.

Would you like to see MY life?” I raised the pen impulsively. “This is MY life.

Then with emotion that startled everyone, including me, I drew an EKG that looked like a woman having a heart attack.

That’s MY life!” I finished. They were stunned.

Soon after becoming RS President, a sister warned me: “I watch how happy you are, and I think, she is going to get hurt.” 

 Another sister had a different take: “I watch how happy you are, Mona, and I think, WOW – she can only be that happy because she's been through a lot.”

One sister assumed I was happy because of the ABSENCE of adversity in my life and the other thought I was happy BECAUSE of it!

The truth is, I’ve found my Little Dot goes haywire more often than not, and if I only smile when it sunshines, I could wait forever for a break in the clouds. Cheerfulness comes from accepting the fact that I’m usually “in a spot” because I’m “on the spot”: one blessedly “small moment” (D&C 121:7-8to prepare for all the joy to come. (Isaiah 61:3)

-----

Mona muses every Sunday at Mona's Gospel Musings and preaches romance in marriage at Mona's Musings with a Hint of Romance. She is the mother of four plus three and grandmother of two and the award-winning author or With Mine Own Hand: The Musical Account of Nephi. For a daily Hint of Romance, go to Mona's Musings on Facebook.
 




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