Discussion Wednesday - When Can You Say No?
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
NO.
The most freeing word in the English Language.
Except when you are Mormon.
Then not so much.
We have a tendency to say YES to everything, even if our plates are totally overflowing. Substitute the rowdy Bear Scouts with 1 hour notice? Sure. Tend Sister So-and-So's 5 children for a week so she can go on vacation with her husband? Sure. Chaperone the Stake Dance? Sure. Take a meal into Bro.What's-His-Face and his 10 children? Even though that means your family will be eating Cold Cereal that night? Sure. Do it all in the same week? Why not.
When I was the Stake Primary President, my Stake President (who is also the son-in-law of Elder Oaks) gave me the best advice I have ever gotten: "Sometimes you can say NO, and you probably should. No one knows better your family situation than YOU. You don't have to attend every single activity that comes down the pipeline. You don't have to accept every assignment that comes your way. You can say NO. Run everything through The Family Filter."
The Family Filter means that you have to see how it all fits in with your family and the demands on your family. If it is taking you away from your family TOO much, then saying NO is OK. If it doesn't fit with the things that are happening within your family, you can say NO. Only YOU know what will or won't work for you and your family.
Saying No is entirely permissible and was the best advice I ever got.
For example: This past week there was an activity on Tuesday night, Wednesday night, Thursday night, Friday afternoon and Friday night as well as Saturday Morning (and a stake basketball game Saturday Afternoon). On Sunday there were TWO firesides: YW New Beginnings at 6pm and A Missionary Fireside for the 16 and older boys at 7pm.
That's a lot, don't you think? Was that coordinated with the family in mind? I don't think so.
That's doing church every single night of the week with one or more family members away from the home.
Is this really what the Lord wants?
So, with all that in mind: WHEN do you say NO?
Is there ever a time when you can? Callings? Assignments? Activities? Meals? Tending?
What have YOU given yourself permission to say NO to?
Ready. Set. Discuss.
