I have been mommy-ing for every moment of every day for the last seven years. I adore my job, and I love my children. But, really, what am I doing here?
There is so much I can't not do in a day. Laundry, meals, bum changes, piano practice, book-reading, dishes, more bums, karate, nurse the baby, nurse the baby, and nurse the baby... most of the moments throughout my day are taken by these tasks, and when you add all that up, it sure doesn't look like much.
I have been fighting the tendency to completely lose myself in the menial requirements.
I must feed my soul to be the best I can be, but also so I can feel joy in the plodding onward, ever onward.
So as I ask myself what is it that I am doing here, I am forcing myself to find the joy in the little things, to celebrate the tiny victories, and to keep in mind the eternal souls I'm responsible for.
I have slivers of light that poke through the cloud of exhaustion and dirty socks. I am learning to cling to those moments of sweetness while we read books on the couch. I live for days off of my little boy crying because his tummy is full, but he wants to eat more because the simple meal I made, "tastes so good!"
I'm adding to the joy by taking a moment here and there to remember that I'm a person too. My cello sits unused 23.5 hours a day, but I do snag a moment here and there to practice. The kids love the low notes and let me play, mostly uninterrupted while they orbit around me.
I make sure I'm always reading a book. I can read e-books on my phone while I nurse my squirmy baby. And I'm able to steal a shower *almost* every day.
There is a lot of joy in this journey, I just have to look a little bit harder.
Morgan writes The Ing Family blog from the hills of New Hampshire. Her family of seven recently relocated there from Utah. She blogs between homeschooling the kids and changing bums. She is also working on her first novel. Because, you know, that's more fun than doing dishes. Come visit!