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Huuuu-man Business

My 3 boys being their cute "human" selves. Ages 13, 9, & 5
As I grow older, I am finding myself in the same camp as my mother, her mother, and her mother before her.... I have scolded, scoffed and scorned at the improper use of language in my home, and I'm not even talking about swear words here, I am talking about the potty mouth.

You know the words that your kids sometimes use in front of people? Especially in front of adults that you want to impress, ie: the grandparents? Those are the words I'm talking about.

For the most part, I don't worry too much about their language, until I imagine them in some setting - like on a date, or an interview, or on their mission, and the words that were familiar at our house are suddenly taboo in other settings or with other people. My goal lately has been to "tighten the reigns" in this department and instill a little more poise. And make no mistake; my girls have just as much need of poise as my boys. (Do your kids burp the alphabet or am I the only one with gross kids?)

I've been trying to teach my children that there are more discreet terms to use instead of announcing loudly in a store "Mom! Mooooom!!! I have to PEE!!!!" and that it would be more appropriate to say, "Mom, I need to use the washroom" (or bathroom, or restroom...or whatever).

Or what about that stinky "F" word - the one that sometimes comes out in sacrament meeting like this by your 8-year-old? "Mom! (whispering loudly) Someone "far*ed!" (all while waving their hand over their nose...) It's those moments where I wish I had never, ever, EVER said that. EVER - or at least taken those reigns and stuffed them in his mouth...or mine.

Well, you get the picture. Some words are just better than others as a description of bodily functions. And burping and far*ing contests belong at scout camp. I'm sure I have no one else but me their father to blame, but what's done is done. This, my friends, is called "back-track-parenting". Don't lie. You do it too.

But cute of all cutes, the other day I heard a new one from my 5-year-old, my youngest, Mr. Brig-HAM. We were at his Auntie's house, two hours from home, and it was time to leave. I said, "Brigham, go use the bathroom so we don't have to stop on the way!"

And he said:

It was a total crack up! So now we say "human business" because I think it works much better.

Three cheers for five-year-olds!

PS: NO - I don't have a recorder on all day catching funny things my kids say - just in case you were wondering! And YES I bribe. This recording was a "hired" job. 

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Sara Lyn Baril is wife to a dashing lawyer named Mark, a mother of  five great kids ages 5-15 and a published LDS songwriter with one album to her credit. When she isn't drowning in the laundry piles or lost in the mess of her kitchen, you can find Sara gardening in her flower gardens, writing new music or blogging at

Photo by Sara

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