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Power in Silence

One of my talents has always been the ability to be upfront. Vocal. Emotionally Honest. I have always seen it as a strength of mine. In fact, it is why I love blogging so much. It's an opportunity for me to talk more! But, in all seriousness, I do believe that the trait I possess to speak my mind is an attribute about myself that I've always been proud of. It's a talent, so to speak.

But, as we all know, sometimes, speaking our minds can get us into trouble. Because of a recent life experience which is too personal to share here, I have been questioning this "talent" of mine. I've been questioning whether or not it was really a good attribute after all. I got deeply hurt by sharing too much, and became saddened when others did not understand what I was trying to say. It led to hurt feelings on both sides, and to a dispute that has yet to be resolved.

So, I've been keeping my mouth shut a lot more. I've been quieter on social media. I've been keeping opinions to myself. And, in all of that, I've realized that I felt that something that was so special to me had been robbed. I felt a little angry, and very sad. I have felt like I couldn't be myself.

But, yesterday, I had an experience that changed that for me. And it came in a simple conversation where I kept my mouth shut. During this conversation, I was feeling safe enough to be true and honest about some of my own feelings. This conversation was happening through private messages between myself and a family member. In response to something she said, I typed a very lengthy response where I unloaded a lot of hurt and frustrated feelings about someone else. I read and re-read it before I hit send. And, I think in a quiet whispering of the Spirit, I felt I shouldn't send it. Instead, I deleted all of it, typed a short response, and hit send.

I was surprised when I sat back and realized that in that moment, I felt powerful.

In the past, words being expressed had always held a certain power for me. But, in that moment, I felt power by keeping those thoughts and words to myself. It was something I had never felt before. Sure, I've bitten my tongue lots of times, but for once, I felt proud of that decision instead of stifled by it. I'm sure it was because I was listening to the Spirit in that moment instead of listening to only my emotions. I realized that there is power in silence, too.

There is a fine line that has to be walked when it comes to expressing ourselves in social media. While there is great satisfaction in speaking our mind, I'd like to say that there can sometimes come even greater satisfaction from keeping thoughts and opinions to ourselves. The key is asking yourself, and the Lord if necessary, is this something that will lead to peaceful feelings, or is it only myself needing to be understood. If it is the latter, then I can say, that The Most Important One always understands, and maybe we can find power, and peace in silence.

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Meredith is a mother of 3 that is all about trying to be “real” when it comes to motherhood after years of trying to fake perfection. But, it’s the hardest job she’s ever done. She loves blogging about all the perfect and not so perfect moments on her blog, Faking Picture Perfect.

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