outside my window last night
my thoughts were stirring in an emotional compote
made up of tender feelings regarding my missionary daughter--
I miss her.
I miss our quick morning chats at the breakfast table,
our afternoon "let's grab a bite to eat",
and the "how long have we been talking?" late night discussions
that took paths undiscovered until that hour.
A song comes on the radio,
and immediately my heart goes to her.
I'm not the only family member that does that--
just yesterday as the Caboose and I were in the car,
a song came on by Colbie Caillat
and from the backseat
a small voice exhales,
"I miss Nana."
"Yeah, me too."
The road took us to our destination,
the Caboose flitted out of the car
and I was left alone with my thoughts again.
Funny how it is the little things that remind me
with a small sting,
that we have a missionary out in the field.
"Heavenly Father is continually blessing us and somewhere between, work, school, relationships and the tasks of daily living we often forget to be thankful for the opportunity we have to do those ordinary, every day things; to be surrounded by those we love, and to attend those dreaded, life-sucking days at work and school. But I know that if we show even an ounce of gratitude for the small means that we have Heavenly Father will return to us and bless us more than we ever deserve. He's good at keeping promises like that."
I came upon her companion's blog
where she shared an experience:
"On Tuesday, we helped Crystal again with her home. We organized a lot of her bills, and helped her get rid of things she really needed. I wanted to give you an update on her closing prayer, because last week’s was just as good. This time, it was, “Please bless Sister Hawkes and Sister Johnson ... And thank you to their families who love them enough to share them with me.”
It's a comfort when I get a peek inside of Nana's missionary world.
I was thinking about motherhood and sacrifice...and then I thought of Hannah...you know, the prophet Samuel's mother.
She petitioned the Lord for a son in the temple with all the energy of her soul--
"And she was in bitterness of soul, and prayed to the Lord and wept in anguish. Then she made a vow and said, 'O Lord of hosts, if You will indeed look on the affliction of Your maidservant and remember me, and not forget Your maidservant, but will give Your maidservant a male child, then I will give him to the Lord all the days of his life, and no razor shall come upon his head" (1 Samuel 1:10-11)
Overhearing her prayer, the priest Eli said to her:
"Go in peace, and the God of Israel grant your petition which you have asked of Him." (I Samuel 1:17)
Her prayers were answered with Samuel. When he was weaned from her, she then kept her promise and took him to the temple doors, handing him over to the priest, Eli. She wouldn't see her son but for one time a year after that. She relinquished the very son for whom she prayed.
She entered into motherhood with a purpose.
Her heart was set on returning to God what He had given her
and perhaps a lot sooner than she was ready to--
can you imagine her the night before she took her baby to the temple doors?
Can you see her washing his clothes--
water and tears mixed together in a basin;
tenderly hanging them to dry,
then folding them as neatly as she could,
tucking in little sleeves,
holding them to her cheeks and breathing in
whatever baby smell left lingering there?
Can you imagine her watching him sleep that night?
You know she didn't leave his side--
watching his chest rise and fall,
caressing his little hair locks
tracing his ears with her fingers...
what were her prayers that night?
Such complete faith and trust in Father.
Her sacrifice went on to bless multitudes as Samuel the gift,
became Samuel the Prophet.
Two books in the Old Testament are named for him.
He made a difference!
I love that--to me that is Hannah's legacy!
I want a heart like Hannah's.
I want to remember that the gift of children that Father has blessed me
is going to be my legacy.
I want to raise children up in a way that they
make a difference in the part of the world they live in,
that when others see them coming
arms are open, hearts are gladdened.
My goal is to remember to teach my children
how to serve.
Not how to be served.
I want them to know the grace that comes
on one's hands and knees
when they're lifting someone else's burdens
I want them to know how to
leave people and places
better and more beautiful than when they got there.
That's what Hannah taught.
By her example,
Samuel learned about sacrifice and service.
He was the result of her covenants to God.
There was no mistaking the priorities of his mother...
he knew what she believed in
because of how she lived.
Hannah continued to be blessed
as she was given five more children
I love that part.
I want a heart like Hannah's...
full of faith and conviction.
The best part of being a missionary mom
is knowing that our girl is blessing others' lives.
Is there anything sweeter to hear than our children
are looking beyond the end of their own noses
to lift and buoy others on the way?
How careful we, as parents must be,
to teach our children
how to look for opportunities to serve,
how to accept a call for help when it comes to us,
how to be a gracious receiver and a mindful servant.
Hannah showed us how to do that.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - -Momza's House."
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