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Moving Out of Gethsemane Garden

Last May, I had the opportunity to attend
Brigham Young University's Women's Conference.
It's a two-day event that
and educates women
in all kinds of areas in Life--
from raising children to money management
careers and marriages,
living our faith and sharing it with others.
I have been going since 1993
and enjoy it every single time.

One particular talk
really stuck with me and
has been ruminating since I heard it last Spring.

The speaker was Elaine Marshall;
her manner was lovely and articulate--
not ethereal,
but real and present,
totally relate-able.
It was my pleasure to listen to her.

She shared some of her life's journey,
which included the loss of a treasured son,
who died at the age of eight years old.
She didn't go into the details of his passing,
but openly shared her
deep deep grieving--
her mother-heart was "broken to pieces"
and she mourned his absence

Her own mother, in an effort to comfort her,
kindly suggested:
"You've spent too much time in Gethsemane. 
Jesus has already been there for you.  
Go find another garden."

Is that not the most beautiful, inspiring words of comfort?

Sometimes I spend too much time in Gethsemane--
it could be said of me, that I set-up house there.
Always tending to my sorrows and sins,
as if by being ever-mindful of them
will make me a
 wise steward
a responsible woman, mother, wife.
So automatic is my "tending in Gethsemane"
that I forget that's it okay
to leave my troubles there
and accept the Atonement as it is meant to be accepted
and move on
to other gardens.

While I was at conference,
the first day I was away from home actually,
I got a call from the agency that cares for my special-needs son, Dean.
There'd been an incident so disturbing
that he had to be removed from his host home.
I was nauseas, upset, 'fretting' doesn't even cover it.
I wished I was back home--"forget Conference", I thought,
"I need to be home."
Through constant texts and phone calls
all day,
I was kept updated on how he was doing.
He wasn't injured,
in fact, he was "OK" despite the situation.

Still, into familiar Gethsemane I went...
ready to let go of the busy, fun schedule we had planned--
I brought my 18 year old senior, Dara with me.
And I must say, 
that she is the reason
I kept myself busy with the planned schedule.
I couldn't let her down.
We had needed this time together very much,
and I had to get a grip on events I couldn't control,
and control the things I could.
we carried on
and visited another garden:

The best part of that day was going to
Temple Square:

The beauty and peace there was like the Balm of Gilead
to my heart--
alone it lifted me out of Gethsemane
and gave me rest.

 Also on the first day of my trip,
I was given notice that my missionary daughter, Diana,
who is far away in New York,
was in a car accident.

I went right back to Gethsemane...
-how hurt was she?
-would she be coming home?
-whose fault was it?

I got a few answers--
a concussion, whiplash,
but otherwise ok.

Still, my mother-heart retreated to the familiar path
to Gethsemane...

 I said prayers
for my children
and decided that instead of setting-up camp,
that perhaps I could trust that these 
sorrows also,
could be entrusted to my Friend,
whose Garden it is.

 I allowed my self,
my heart,
my mind,
to leave Gethsemane
and rely on His atonement...
and leave my cares right there
in His care.

I was enabled to take charge of my experience there
with my daughter, Dara,
and together our trip strengthened our relationship
and provided opportunities to bond and create some great memories.

She will be out of my "view"
soon enough...
before I know it,
and these days will be those days--

how grateful I am that I felt comforted and peaceful
in the midst of trials
so that we could enjoy our time together.

It was never intended that we,
as God's children,
take up residence in Gethsemane's walled garden;
He has greater desires for us than to be
prisoners of our mortal bodies and earthly trials.

That's why He sent His Son.

There is comfort in Gethsemane--
I know I will yet visit there many times over
in my life,
but I will try to
remember that the Savior,
the Great Redeemer of All,
the One who sanctified that place,
both figuratively and genuinely--
He also left that Garden a long time ago.

- - - - - - - - - - - - -
Dawn aka "Momza" as deemed by her seven children, lives on the east side of the Rocky Mountains in Colorado Springs, Colorado. A convert to the LDS faith in her youth, her life is much more exciting than she ever dreamed it would be and she blogs it all at

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